When my wife was conceived and expecting my son, Ethan, I was so exhilarated that I started searching for information on pregnancy, which would hopefully help me become a good father and a caring husband. I was amazed at the amount of information available, especially for a new, ignorant father like me. After that process of searching and learning I had to admit that in this time and age, we fathers have no excuse to be a lousy dad. One may be excused if he is illiterate. Even so, the illiterate can always ask other fathers for advice and tips.

After I have digested the information and shared what I have researched and known with my expecting wife, she was also astonished how much a husband could get himself ready to be a father nowadays. There is absolutely no reason not to know. Before the internet became widespread, we might still give the excuse “Oh, I do not have the budget to buy that reference book or that guide book.” Sorry guys, this excuse is outdated. Most of us have an internet line at the comfort of our home to search for all the information we need from around the world. Even if you do not have an internet line at home, there is probably a cybercafé nearby or, better still, free internet line in the neighborhood library. No time? Sorry guys, that is no longer an acceptable alibi. Everybody has the same number of hours, 24 hours a day. If you really do not have the time, please do not get your wife pregnant. Don’t you know there are options of contraceptives? I hope you guys know this one!

Pregnancy is a funny thing. Not every female experience the same symptoms. However, you will definitely find something that remains true from what you read and learn. Each trimester comes with something different. And each trimester comes with its own challenges, risks and joy as the fetus, your child, grows and develops through the weeks and months.

Some pregnant mothers do not experience many symptoms at all. And some are like not pregnant at all, except maybe with an appetite of a cow! Some, like my wife, were totally beaten and bedridden throughout most of the day. My wife was like taking a long voyage! She was like having sea sick for about 6 months. Apart from that, she also suffered from gastric and back pain. Worse, she had to wake up at 3 to 4 am in the morning and eat a piece of bread to stop the gastric and the kicking inside. My son ought to know this when he grows up!

I am not trying to give you the A to Z of pregnancy here. I am trying to point out all men can be great husband and father. All we need is to spend a bit of time and do what needs to be done out of love and commitment for our wife and child.

If we find out the details for each stage of pregnancy and be observant, a lot of headache and heartache could be avoided or prevented. When we are informed, we can do away with unfounded stress and worries. Even more important, some of the fetal defects or problems could be solved or prevented if known earlier. There is pregnancy related medical information made available to laymen like us. All we need to do is to read up and be informed. I have heard about many pregnancy tragedies because they DID NOT KNOW certain things about the potential risks associated with certain stage of pregnancy. Just imagine how sad that is. If the information is not available, then nothing we can do. If the information has all along been there, and the tragedy happens because we simply did not bother to find out before something happens! How do you feel about that?

Most pregnant mothers have some degrees of depression and insecurity during the months. If the husband is busy and not at home most of the time, she will feel even more depressed and insecure. Fathers and husbands, take note of this. This has some unforgiving influence on your child. When your wife is depressed, certain biochemicals will be emitted by the mother and enters your child’s body. Those biochemicals may impede your child’s growth and development. Or, it may also affect your child’s after-birth behavior when he or she comes into this world.

Guys, you can and need all these information to be a good husband and father. The information is available today. To be or not to be is your call.